


Home

by orphan_account



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Baby Boy Kihyun, It's still legal tho, M/M, Mostly Fluff, lil bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 08:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Chae Hyungwon, one of the leaders of the four biggest gangs in the city, totally does not have a soft spot for Yoo Kihyun.





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> Woo, I spent weeks on this because I couldn't decide how to end it?  
> It's almost 11 PM, I did not edit it

Kihyun settles down in his given spot. It's become his practical home when it comes to these meetings. The room is cold. The walls are bare white. The table in front of him is old and metal, like the rest of the building. He wonders why they ever decided to choose this place for a meeting for the big 4.

He shivers a bit and bites his lip. He's nervous. He doesn't trust these people. Deals seem to mean nothing in this world; no one seems to keep their word. If someone says they won't kill anyone, there's a 50% chance someone will be found dead in the morning. Lies and truths are all mixed up, and Kihyun would much rather be in a warm bed than here anxiously staring at the clock.

He finds a bit warmth in his "seat". It's where he always is. It's his home. He shuffles a bit to be more comfortable before allowing himself to completely relax. He links his hands in his lap, avoiding eye contact with the 3 other people sitting around the table.

"Kihyun," a soft voice speaks into his ear. It's relaxing. It's the voice he's so used to falling asleep to. The voice that he will obey no matter what. Not that he minds, he likes having someone to find comfort in. He likes someone controlling him. It makes him feel safe.

It's familiar.

"Kihyun," hands rest over his own.

They are warm on his soft skin. He leans back against his "seat". His seat being the owner of the voice. The other's hands feel so nice on his own. It's a nice contrast from the cold room. It makes him feel less anxious.

"Yes," he softly responses.

"Calm down." A nose gently brushes against his right ear. "I have this under control."

"What if you get hurt?" Kihyun slips his hands from underneath the other's and begans playing with his fingers. They are so much longer and bigger than Kihyun's tiny hands. He smiles slightly and raises one hand to his lips and softly kisses the index finger. "Please don't do this."

The hand falls back into his lap. "I trust these people. If something goes wrong, I'll protect you."

Another voice interrupts them. "Are we going to make this deal or not?"

Kihyun lifts his head to see the male speaking. The step in leader, Vernon, for one of the other groups glares at the pair. Kihyun hates him most of all. He thinks he's better than everyone else.

"Vernon, relax. If you rush the deal, I might not agree at all. You want an alliance? Well, than you have to learn that I don't play like that, right princess?" The male underneath him speaks, shoving Kihyun gently when he uses the pet-name.

Kihyun nods obediently.

"Hyungwon, stop acting like this doesn't benefit you as well."

"It doesn't," he responds calmly as Kihyun resumes playing with his fingers. "I don't need you to protect my people. My gang is mine. We've done well enough when every one of you attack us. I don't need an alliance to promise not to kill each other and to actually help one another. I'm doing it to be nice. Don't rush me."

He pulls his hand away to toss the file on the table to Vernon. Kihyun whines loudly, reaching out to grab Hyungwon's arm again. He pulls on the white fabric of Hyungwon's buttoned up shirt.

"In a minute, princess. We're almost done and then we can go home," Hyungwon kisses his neck before looking back at the others. "Sign it."

The other two of the Big Four, Yoongi and Taemin, glance at Hyungwon questionably. The tension in the room is high, and Kihyun is sure someone could murder them at any moment. Who wanted want to kill the gang leaders of the biggest four groups? They certainly don't trust each other.

"Why'd you bring your bitch here anyways?" Taemin asks.

Kihyun bites his lip as hard as he can. He hates that term. He hates being reminded that everyone sees them like that. They think Hyungwon owns him. Technically he does, but only because Kihyun likes him being in control. If Kihyun wanted to, he could leave anytime. He's not sure he'd ever want to.

Hyungwon's lap is his home.

"If you don't learn to respect him, I'll rip the agreement to shreds and have Wonho kill all three of you," Hyungwon growls. "Anyways, I have to go. Read the terms and sign it. Leave it here and I'll have Minhyuk pick it up." He gently pats Kihyun's thigh. "Come on, we can go back to home base now."

Kihyun doesn't miss a beat. He happily jumps up. Hyungwon stands up and motions for Kihyun to follow him. He leads the elder out of the building and into the car they came it.

"Do you think they will sign it?" Kihyun asks curiously.

"What did I tell you about the gang? You don't ask questions. You let me handle everything."

Hyungwon reaches over and turns on the radio. A soft song began to play, Kihyun thinks it's by Taeyeon? He lets his eyes fall closed and his body relax.

He dreams of the day his life changed.

_It was cold. The ground was wet underneath his bare feet. Kihyun was sure that this was the coldest it has been all year. He glanced around for anything or anyone that could help him. His thin white shirt wasn't protecting him from the cold, neither was his ripped black jeans._

_He spotted 2 men at the end of the alley. One man was tall, with a large black trench coat and a black beanie. It looked warm, and Kihyun was jealous. The other man was wearing a bright pink hoodie with white jeans. His hair was white. He seemed too bright for Kihyun's eyes, but he wondered if he could help._

_He didn't wait before running over. He was freezing. He couldnt even feel his feet or hands. If he stayed out here any longer, he would probably pass out because he hadn't eaten in a few days. They glanced at him, the taller of the two looked him up and down when he stopped in front of him._

_"And?" He asked slowly._

_Kihyun looked up at him so desperately._

_"You're going to die like this." The male slipped off his trench coat and placed it on Kihyun's shoulders, leaving him in a black buttoned up. "Why the hell are you out here in the first place?"_

_The jacket was still warm from the other male's body heat. Kihyun found himself wanting nothing more than to live in this feeling forever._

_"I'm Chae Hyungwon. I guess since you won't speak, I'll take you home with me."_

_Kihyun had been alone since his mother died, resulting in him ending up in the streets. He didn't know what to say._

_Fingers intertwined with his own. "God, you are freezing."_

_-_

"Hyungwon said I should probably wake you up," Minhyuk gently taps on Kihyun's arm.

Kihyun uncurls himself from the chair to sit properly. He rubs his eyes, and Minhyuk reaches over to soothe Kihyun's hair that was sticking up everywhere. Minhyuk smiles softly at the sight.

"Where is he?" Kihyun asks. The last thing he remembers is sleeping in the car, so he doesn't know how he ended up waking up in Hyungwon's squishy office chair in front of his desk without the man himself coaxing him into waking up (not that Kihyun needs to be convinced to get up, but it's funny how Hyungwon acts like Kihyun is the one who never wakes up).

Minhyuk sits in the chair across from him. "No idea. He just said it was time to wake you up. Then, he left with Shownu."

"Hyunwoo," Kihyun softly whispers.

"Huh?"

"His name is Hyunwoo. You all use these fake names. It makes me feel like we hardly know each other at all."

He stares at the small picture frame on the desk. It's the only picture Hyungwon allows in the whole building. It's a picture of Kihyun half asleep with his hair everywhere. He's hugging a small bear plushie and pouting. It was taken a few weeks ago.

Kihyun wonders if he even knows these men that call themselves a gang.

Minhyuk sighs. "They use fake names because they have lives outside of this. I don't. I'm just a lonely hacker. Jooheon doesn't either. Everyone else has lives outside this. Shownu has a daughter. I.M is still in school. Wonho has a job. We don't use real names because their lives would be ruined if people knew who they worked for."

"What about Hyungwon?" Kihyun raises his head to look Minhyuk in the eye.

Kihyun may spend every second of the day with him, but Hyungwon is a mystery.

"You'll have to ask him for yourself. I don't know anything about the boss. Now, come on and get up. I'm hungry."

After some convincing, Minhyuk leaves with Kihyun promising he'll cook soon. The office is quiet and cold, like the rest of the building. The large desk in front of him is fairly empty. Hyungwon keeps all of his papers locked in the filing cabinet far away from Kihyun.

He reaches for the phone on the desk and dials the only number he has memorized. After a few rings, someone picks up.

 _"Yes, Kihyun?"_  He sounds amused, like he knows Kihyun would call. Like he was expecting it. It's not unlike Kihyun to call when things are quiet like this.

"Where are you?" Kihyun plays with the cord connecting the phone to the machine. He doesn't have a phone because he has no reason to call anyone.

_"I'm out. I took Shownu with me if you're worried. I wanted to have a look at Yoongi's base for myself. I was wondering if he was planning to attack someone. Why?"_

"I'm cold." The lie falls off of Kihyun's tongue easily.

It's not a total lie, he's cold without the warmth of his home. Curling up in Hyungwon's lap while he does work is such a habit that without it, life feels darker. He's used to hanging off of him, gently asking for attention. Kihyun doesn't mind not knowing about what Hyungwon does because his job is to keep the place clean and cook. Except, it's lonely if Hyungwon isn't here and it causes him to get worried. Hyungwon has never left him before.

_"Grab a blanket then, princess. I'll be there really soon. It's laundry day, isn't it? Maybe get that done and I'll be there before you know it."_

Kihyun asks the question on his mind, "Why didn't you bring me?"

There's a pause before he hears Hyungwon shuffling on the other end.  _"It's not safe. I'll be there soon."_

The line is cut off and Kihyun groans in frustration. He hates this.

Their base is fairly small. It's in an old abandoned office that who knows was used for. Only Hyungwon, Kihyun, Jooheon, and Minhyuk stay there fulltime. It's their home. They have only 24 other members, but they just don't stay at the base. On the top floor is all the bedrooms, the infirmary, a bathroom with a shower, and Hyungwon's office. According to Minhyuk, they had to bring all the beds and dressers into the building themselves. The infirmary was set up by Wonho. It's pretty plain. A bookshelf is filled with a bunch of medical supplies. There's a bed. Other than that, it's an empty room. Technically Kihyun is in charge of the infirmary when someone gets hurt because their last doctor was fired. Now they have Kihyun who only knows what he knows from looking things up on Hyungwon's computer.

On the bottom floor is Minhyuk's office, the kitchen, the meeting room, the common area, and a room that is off limits to Kihyun. Kihyun has no idea what is in it, and Hyungwon tells him he wants to keep it like that. The common area has 2 couches and a TV. Kihyun spends his evenings watching TV, curled up against Hyungwon as close as he will allow.

They aren't a big gang, but they are still part of the big four because Hyungwon is powerful. Kihyun is lucky to be on his good side.

Kihyun walks down the stairs with a pout on his face. If he got to choose, he'd let the others starve and only cook for Hyungwon and himself. The others eat so much.

He finds himself in the common area curled up on the couch. The building is completely silent. He wonders where everyone is at, but he doesn't care enough to look. His focus is only on the door that he's not allowed into. Hyungwon never leaves him alone like this, alone without any other member with him.

The door is large and metal, contrasting to the white walls of the common area. Kihyun can see it clearly. He really isn't sure why it's connected to the common area if he isn't allowed in there. The more he thinks about it, he decides there is probably just weapons in there.

Still, he's curious. He stands up and approaches the door slowly. Kihyun looks around to make sure no one is here before he eases it open, revealing the contents.

Weapons line the back wall. Guns, knives, you name it and it's probably hanging up there. There's a small desk with gun parts on it. That's not really what catches his eye though. What does catch his eye makes him feel so sick that he feels like he might throw up. It's cruel. It's so unlike them.

Changkyun is sitting on the floor leaned against the wall with chains binding his wrists to the wall. A bandana covers his eyes and there's a gag in his mouth. His wrists are bleeding. There's scratches all over his face. Kihyun is sure he's unconscious because he isn't fighting.

_Why didnt Hyungwon want me in here before?_ _Didn't I just see him yesterday? Did Hyungwon-_

He hears the front door click open. In panic, he quickly closes the door to the room and turns the light off. He feels like hyperventilating because he feels so stupid. If Hyungwon is the one who came home, he is going to flip out if Kihyun isn't there to greet him. If he finds Kihyun, he is surely going to be punished for not following directions.

"Kihyun?" Hyungwon calls.

Kihyun doesn't wait. Instead, he opens the door. Hyungwon's eyes grow wide.

"Kihyun, what the hell are you doing?!" Hyungwon rushes over. Hyunwoo stays behind, still standing near the door cautiously.

"Why is Changkyun in there?" Kihyun pushes Hyungwon away.

"Because that's what happens when people betray me, Kihyun. He leaked information and was planning on getting Taemin's group to kill me and have Taemin take over our entire gang. How would you like to become Taemin's bitch?" His voice is cold, much like how he was when they first met.

Kihyun clenches his fists. "Stop."

"No. Listen, if it wasn't for me you'd be on the streets or someone's bitch. Kihyun, I'm trying to protect you. So please, when I tell you not to get involved, don't." Hyungwon carefully cups Kihyun's face to place a soft kiss on his forehead. "Please."

Kihyun leans into his touch. "What are you going to do with him?"

Hyunwoo answers, "It's best if you don't know."

"Come on, it's late. I'll help you with dinner and then we can watch some TV, okay?" Hyungwon pecks his lips.

When Hyungwon acts like this, it feels like they aren't in a gang at all. The building feels like a real house. He carefully listens to Kihyun's instructions and helps him make dinner. When they are done eating, they wash dishes side by side. Hyungwon puts bubbles on Kihyun's nose, resulting in fighting and giggling.

Minhyuk opens the door as Kihyun finishes drying the last dish. He enters the kitchen, followed by Jooheon and Hoseok. A file is in Jooheon's hands. They sit down at the kitchen table and Kihyun immediately crawls into Hyungwon's lap, sitting side way so his shoulder is pressed to Hyungwon's chest. He attempts to curl up slightly so he can fit his head underneath Hyungwon's.

Jooheon slides the file across the table. "See it for yourself."

Hyungwon reaches for the file and opens it on the table. After scanning it, he groans.

"You're fucking kidding me."

"Nope," Minhyuk chimes.

Kihyun glances at the paper. Two of the three places are signed.

_Vernon didn't sign it?_

"What does this mean?" Hoseok asks.

Hyungwon sighs. "It means they might attack or kill anyone of us on sight. It means this is war."

Kihyun pulls on Hyungwon's shirt. "Is anything changing?"

"We'll put someone on guard every night. At least 5 other people need to be here just in case of an ambush." He places a hand on Kihyun's knee. "You're safe, princess."

After some discussing, Kihyun finally gets to cuddle up to Hyungwon's side and watch TV. It's some silly drama, but he doesn't mind. Minhyuk happily sits on the floor inbetween Jooheon's legs, even though there's a perfectly good couch. They are cute together, Kihyun thinks.

Hyunwoo and Hoseok sit by the door to keep watch. It was last minute, so they couldn't recruit anyone else. Kihyun feels bad for them.

Hyungwon leans over to kiss Kihyun for the millionth time. "You ready for bed, baby boy?"

Kihyun nods his head. "Going to bed" rarely means actually sleeping at first. Usually, Kihyun makes them take a shower because he doesn't want to get in the bed dirty. After that, Kihyun lays in bed reading while Hyungwon does whatever Hyungwon does (it usually changes from kissing Kihyun's stomach, working, or playing on his phone). At one point, Hyungwon eventually ends up throwing Kihyun's book and turns off the lights because he's tired and wants to hold Kihyun. Every day with Hyungwon is different though, so Kihyun is always unsure of what to expect.

They walk upstairs, and Kihyun stops once they reach the top. Hyungwon raises his eyebrows. He looks exhausted. Kihyun never realized how badly everything affected him, but he is in charge so of course he's stressed. Kihyun only adds to the stress. They could be attacked any moment. The thought makes Kihyun sick.

He reaches up to place a hand on Hyungwon's cheek and gently rub his thumb against it. "You look tired. Different."

Hyungwon places his hand over Kihyun's. "I'm just stressed."

Kihyun's arm falls back down to his side. He avoids all eye contact. "You're acting different too. You left me here today. You're doing who knows what to Changkyun. You're probably going to kill him."

Hyungwon's voice is soft, soothing, "Kihyun, I'm trying to protect you. I don't want anyone to take you away from me." He ruffles Kihyun's pink hair. "You're cute and obedient. If someone takes you, they know it'd hurt me, so you can't go on missions anymore. You know people would want to kidnap you."

"I'm not a kid, Hyungwon. I can take care of myself."

Hyungwon sighs. "Do you remember what it was like before I came around?"

Kihyun feels his stomach drop. He's right. Kihyun would be absolutely nothing without Hyungwon. He'd have to go back to prostitution and stealing. He'd have to go back to barely getting by. He was nothing before Hyungwon came around. Hyungwon gave him a place to live, warm clothes, shoes for his feet, finally a life where he didn't have to wonder when his next meal would be.

Hyungwon didn't push their current relationship on Kihyun. He didn't even initiate it. It started when Kihyun decided the couch was too cold, so he crawled in bed with Hyungwon one night.

_He carefully opened the door to the boss's room, a room that Kihyun only entered when it needed to be cleaned. He bit his lip and approached the bed. Hyungwon laid on his side, his brown hair a mess and his lips slightly parted. Kihyun gently shook him._

_"Hyungwon."_

_Eyes fluttered open and glared at Kihyun. Kihyun had only been there for a week, so he wasn't completely adjusted to everything. Hyungwon especially wasn't adjusted to him._

_"What?"_

_"I'm cold. Can I sleep with you?"_

_Hyungwon moved closer to the wall and lifted up his blanket. Kihyun happily crawled into the bed and pressed his back against Hyungwon's chest. They fit together a bit weird. Hyungwon's legs were too long and Kihyun was smaller._

_Kihyun fell asleep the happiest he had been since he last saw his mom alive._

_Neither of them is really sure why, but it become a habit. Then, Hyungwon started babying Kihyun. He brushed his hair and randomly placed an arm around him. Kihyun didn't really mind. He was independent, but he liked Hyungwon being close. He thrived on attention._

_It somehow developed into Kihyun whining when Hyungwon didnt pay attention to him. He would grab his arm and pout or ignore Hyungwon all day when he was mad. Hyungwon finally decided Kihyun could sit in his lap if he stopped pouting and didn't serve as a distraction._

_Kihyun happily found his home on top of Hyungwon after that. During meetings, he would stay fairly quiet, entertaining himself with playing with Hyungwon's hand, shirt, or phone. It became a routine, even though they never established what exactly their relationship was._

"I love you, you know that, right princess?" Hyungwon gently cups his face.

Kihyun's blood runs cold. They've never said it. They were never supposed to say those three words. Because that makes it real. It means that he's too far deep. It means that this isn't a dream.

It changes everything.

Except that he loves Hyungwon too.

He leans into Hyungwon's touch. "What are we?"

"People?"

"No," he sighs in annoyance. "What are  _we?_ This  _thing_ we have going on."

Hyungwon's hand falls, and Kihyun regrets saying anything because Hyungwon is clearly either annoyed or upset.

"Why do we have to label it?" Hyungwon asks. His voice is back to being icy, icy enough that Kihyun wants nothing more than to cut his throat on it rather than stand here and face him.

"Because if this is something real, maybe it's an issue that I know nothing about you. I don't know your age, your birthday, your family, or even your favorite color! I know nothing about you, Hyungwon. And it this is real, then I'd like that to change."

Kihyun knows its such a bad day to fight. He knows downstairs they can hear them yelling. He knows how tired and stressed out Hyungwon is. It's a bad day to start an argument with Hyungwon.

The silence lasts for way too long before Kihyun finally hears a response. "I think....I think you should sleep on the couch tonight."

Kihyun wants to scream. That's the last thing he wanted. He wanted Hyungwon to tell him that they are dating. They could take a warm bath together and then lay down in bed cuddling for hours until they fall asleep. He didn't want to push Hyungwon away.

"Hyungwon," he softly whispers, reaching for the other male's hand. "We can't just ignore all of our problems. You can't just push things aside. I don't know anything about you, and you don't even know anything about me besides my name!"

"What do you want from me Kihyun?" He pulls his hand away.

Kihyun smiles sadly. "I want to know you. The real Chae Hyungwon."

"He's gone."

Without another word, he turns around and enters his bedroom, shutting the door. Kihyun's smile falls.

_I'm sorry._

He pulls himself downstairs and sits on the couch. Minhyuk and Jooheon are already gone. Hyunwoo and Hoseok happily talk amongst themselves. Kihyun sits alone, staring at the TV with no intentions of watching it.

He doesn't have enough energy to shower. He cries until he falls asleep.

-

When he wakes up, the base is silent. Light shines through the black curtains. Kihyun sits up and rubs his eyes. His head hurts. He had time to process the fact that Hyungwon tied Changkyun up to protect Kihyun, not himself. He doesn't see his life as important. Every thing he has ever done has been to protect Kihyun. All Kihyun has offered is fights.

He pulls himself into the downstairs bathroom and stares in the mirror. He looks like shit. His face is puffy. His hair is an absolute mess. His dark circles are getting worse. His lips are chapped. He's a mess.

After washing his face, relieving himself, washing his hands, and brushing his teeth, he finally pulls himself away from the mirror to investigate why the house is so quiet. First thing is first though, is Changkyun okay?

He opens the door to find no one in the room. Changkyun is gone. The chains where he was are completely gone. The blood is all gone. The room is brighter. It's empty. Its also more concerning.

He leaves the room with a bad feeling in his stomach. He pulls himself upstairs and investigates every room.

No one is there just like every thing else. The base is completely absent of anyone besides Kihyun. No one here to protect him, no one here to protect their property.

Kihyun finds himself in Hyungwon's room on the bed. It's cold without the other male. He just wants to take a warm bath with him and let Hyungwon wash his hair.

_Or drown myself. Maybe he'll like me better dead._

He notices Hyungwon's smartphone lying on the nightstand. He picks it up and unlocks it.

_Missed call_   
_**Mom** _

Kihyun glances around. He knows no one is home, but what if someone finds him? Hyungwon could kick him to the streets again.

He hits the button to call back. After a few rings, she picks up.

_"Hyungwon, sweetie! I'm so worried! It's been weeks since you've called us. Your father's health has been declining. You know how hard the chemotherapy has been on him. He's a tough man, so he's holding on. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you and Sojung need to come home and visit. Anyways, how are you two doing? No grandkids yet?"_

Kihyun feels sick. Not the slightly nauseous sick, but the kind where he's pretty sure he's going to throw up. Grandkids? Does Hyungwon's father have cancer? Sojung?

"Hi, sorry it's not actually Hyungwon. I'm a...friend. I just saw that he had a missed call and I just thought maybe he was with you," Kihyun hates lying.

_"Oh sorry, no. I haven't seen Hyungwon or Sojung in a year! I'm sure he just left his phone or something. He'll be back soon. When you see him, ask him to call him, would you? Every son needs to call his mom from time to time."_

Kihyun feels his heart break even more because he would love nothing more than to call his own mom. "I will. I'll tell him the second he gets back! Thank you anyways."

He quickly hangs up so he can cry alone in peace.

That's how Minhyuk finds him. Curled up in the bed, crying so hard he's hyperventilating. Hyungwon's phone is abandoned on the floor. Minhyuk sits on the edge of the bed and runs his fingers through Kihyun's hair.

"Did you think we left you to die?" Minhyuk asks jokingly.

Kihyun sits up and sniffles. "Who is Sojung?"

Minhyuk's face goes pale. "Where did you hear that name from?" He asks carefully.

"Answer it or I'll do something you don't want me to."

The hacker looks uncomfortable. "She was Hyungwon's wife."

Kihyun breathes out. He feels like there's a weight on his chest and he's suffocating. Is this what it feels like to be in love? "How old is he? Where is she now?"

"He's 26. She died a few months before you appeared. Once she died, he was dead inside. He cut himself off from everyone. He never spoke unless he was giving orders. The day he brought you home, he smiled for the first time in months. The day you first crawled into his lap, he came to me crying because he said he was so in love with you. Sojung doesn't matter anymore because she's dead."

Kihyun's jaw drops. "26?!"

"Yeah. How old did you think he was?" Minhyuk laughs nervously.

"Minhyuk, I'm 18."

It's Minhyuk's turn to be shocked. His eyes widden and he tenses up. "No fucking way."

"I'm 18 years old as of last week." He softly speaks.

An 8 year difference really is a big deal. He's barely legal.

"No wonder you like attention so much and let Hyungwon baby you." He scratches his neck.

"How did she die?"

"On a mission."

-

Hyungwon doesn't get home. He finds Kihyun sprawled out on his bed with his face smashed against the pillow and Hyungwon's phone firmly in his hand. He's just wearing underwear and one of Hyungwon's big black shirts. Hyungwon's also pretty sure Kihyun is wearing his underwear. Hyungwon takes note that his pink hair is fading and he should dye it back or maybe to black soon.

He unbuttons his white buttoned up and throws it on the floor. He kicks off his shoes and pulls off his socks and black skinny jeans. He drags himself to the bed and shoves Kihyun aside so he can lie down next to him.

Inconveniently, once he gets comfortable with his back pressed up against Kihyun's, the said man ends up waking up. Hyungwon only knows this when he feels smaller hands pulling on his shoulder to get him to lie on his back. He rolls over to comply to Kihyun's request. The smaller male lies on his side and throws a leg over Hyungwon to get as close to him as he can. His head falls on Hyungwon's chest.

"Wonnie?" He calls in a soft voice, like he's scared if he speaks too loud that Hyungwon will disappear.

Hyungwon hums in response.

"Your mom said to come visit her sometimes. Your father's cancer is getting worse. And I heard about Sojung. I guess your mom doesn't know that she's dead. If she died on a mission, is that why you always try to protect me?"

When he doesn't get a response, he adds, "Do you still love her?"

"No. She's gone, Kihyun, because of me. Minhyuk told you after you spoke to my mother?" He doesn't sound angry. He sounds like he expected the betrayal.

"You're 26." Kihyun says.

"You are too, right?"

Kihyun falls quiet. "Can we promise not to lie to each other?"

A hand comes to gently pet Kihyun's hair. "Okay. I have nothing else to lose."

"I'm 18."

"You're lying."

"Hyungwon, I turned 18 last Thursday. This doesn't change anything."

"Can we talk in the morning?" He pats Kihyun's thigh. "Let's go take a bath, okay? My body really hurts. I'll tell you all about today."

Kihyun stops complaining the second he's in warm water inbetween Hyungwon's legs. His back is pressed up against the other's chest. His eyes fall closed. He's relaxed completely. It's the best he's felt in three days.

Hyungwon gently cleans both of them while he tells him about what happened. They left to have a meeting with the Big 4 that actually signed the deal. They all agreed to send members to protect Hyungwon's base just in case Vernon sends assassins. Kihyun doesn't really understand anything Hyungwon says, so he just nods his head and enjoys the other finally touching him.

He whines when they have to get out. Hyungwon has to coax him out with the promise of kisses. He keeps his word. When they are settled down in bed, he lifts up Kihyun's shirt and carefully presses his lips against Kihyun's stomach. He eventually kisses his lips before he settles behind Kihyun to fall asleep.

Kihyun hears him mumble "I love you, Yoo Kihyun."

-

"What do you think!?" Kihyun asks excitedly. He spins around for effect.

Hyungwon's eyes settle on the top of his head, staring at the newly black hair. It definetly fits him. He looks happier, maybe a bit older. It's cute.

"It looks great, baby boy. Did Minhyuk do it for you?" Hyungwon moves closer to feel a few strands of his hair.

"Nope, Hoseok did! He decided that since I'm a member, I should probably try to look more dramatic and less soft. "

Kihyun doesn't note that he's officially banned from going to meetings and missions and anything related to the gang. He goes to the grocery store with them sometimes though. Occationally, he finds himself in the park. He still sits in Hyungwon's lap for group related meetings, but they never talk about the important stuff when Kihyun's around. They do it to make him feel included, but he knows he's not a real member. He's a slight attention whore though, so he doesn't really mind.

Hyungwon makes a noise of understanding. "There's a mission tonight. I won't be home until late. There will be a few people from Yoongi's crew to keep an eye on the place. Don't wait up for me tonight. Go to bed at a decent time because we still have the date planned tomorrow."

Kihyun's eyes light up. Hyungwon promised they would have a date, but he refused to say what it was. Kihyun was beyond excited for it though. He was sick of the house and everyone in it.

"I'll go to bed early. I promise!"

Hyungwon kissed his forehead. "Okay, baby."

"Wonnie?" Kihyun bites his lip and stares at the floor.

"Hm?"

His face turns a bright pink, and Hyungwon resists the urge to coo. "I like it when you call me baby boy...um, could you do that more?"

_Kihyun is way too cute for his own good._

"Of course. Hey, let's go make dinner before I have to leave."

As it turns out, Hyunwoo pulls Hyungwon away half way through. Kihyun doesn't even get the chance to kiss him bye. All he heard was "emergency" and then Hyungwon was out the door.

He shrugged and continued to make dinner for just himself and now an empty seat where Hyungwon was supposed to be.  
  
  
  


Kihyun was never supposed to use the infirmary. He could patch up small cuts easily. He was never supposed to be using it like this.

Blood creeps inbetween his fingers as he keeps pressure on the wound. He doesn't know what to do. The blood won't stop flowing. Kihyun presses harder because he's panicking. Someone hands him some gauze, and he places that over the wound and continues adding pressure. He never studied for something like this. He's just an 18 year old wanna-be medical student.

The blood soaks through the gauze quick enough. Tears are still streaming from Kihyun's eyes, and he can hardly see.

"You have to call the ambulance!" Kihyun pleads.

"We don't have insurance and I don't know if he does!" Minhyuk shouts back.

Everyone is shouting and yelling. Kihyun feels so dizzy. There's too much happening at once.

Because Hyungwon is lying on the infirmary bed and Kihyun has no idea what the fuck to do.

"Where is the bullet?" Kihyun asks no one inpaticular.

"Still inside him."

Kihyun ignores the tears falling from his face and takes the scalpel. With shaky hands, he cuts his skin and shoves his hands inside. He's literally  _inside_ Hyungwon, the man he loves. He's aimlessly searching for some bullet because apparently isn't still inside of him. It's disgusting, and everyone is just staring at him like he's a miracle worker.

He's not, he's just Yoo Kihyun.

-

Jooheon carefully takes a wet washcloth and cleans the blood from Kihyun's face. He's been sitting here, motionless for an hour. He can't decide what's real and what's not. He's covering in blood: his hands, his face, his clothes; it's not even his own.

"You did good," Jooheon praises in a husky voice. He's been crying. They all have. "He's not up yet, but he should be soon."

Kihyun stares into the empty space. "My hands were inside of him." He feels so sick, and he could throw up if he had eaten anything. Instead, he just stares and let's Jooheon clean his face. "What if he doesn't make it?"

"He'll make it. He's getting a blood transfer. You seriously need to take a shower though because you're fucking covered in blood it's making  _me_ sick."

The smell is pretty gross. He smells like blood and Hyungwon. He's gross. He doesn't have the energy to move though, so he just stays put.

They fall silent, and Jooheon cleans all the blood off of Kihyun's skin. Afterwards, he returns with clothes and actually changes him. He puts Hyungwon's t-shirt and sweatpants on him, and they smell just like him.

_We were supposed to go on a date tomorrow, and now I don't know if he'll live through the next hour._

Eventually, one by one, everyone in the high rankings of the gang meets with him. They thank him for his work and tell him Hyungwon's going to be okay. Kihyun nods, but he doesn't believe it for a second. He doesn't trust his own work.

When he finally reaches Hoseok, Jooheon enters the room instead. "He's up."

Kihyun runs, actually shoving Jooheon down. He runs into the infirmary and slams the door open.

Hyungwon is lying the same way he left him. He's pale, with a blood transfusion line hooked up to him. He's not wearing a shirt, so the messy stitches are obvious. His eyes are open, however.

Kihyun sits on the edge of the bed and grabs Hyungwon's hand. "Please, please, please don't leave me. I never got to tell you I love you. But I love you, Chae Hyungwon. I don't care if you're 26 and the leader of a gang. I don't care because I love you, so you can't fucking leave me!" He's sobbing by the end of it.

He barely feels Hyungwon's thumb rub the back of his hand in circles. It's so weak. Hyungwon is weak.

"I love you too, baby boy," his voice is soft. It's so hoarse. It's so unlike Hyungwon that Kihyun cries even louder. "Kiss me, then get me some water, okay?"

Kihyun quickly nods. He pecks Hyungwon's lips so softly because he's scared he will fall apart. He scurries off to get water. And when he returns, Hyungwon is still awake.

He holds it to Hyungwon's lips and helps him slowly drink it. He drinks the entire cup though, and it makes him look more alive. His lips are redder, and he forces a smile.

"Don't worry about me. Go get some sleep."

He wants to ask Hyungwon what the hell happened out there and how he got shot, but instead he just shakes his head. "Can I sleep with you?"

"You can't lie on me, baby," Hyungwon cups Kihyun's jaw. "You think you can just lie next to me?"

They end up moving Hyungwon into his own bedroom and Kihyun is more than happy. The medical equipment sits next to him, but he tries to convince himself it isn't there.

That night, he has to settle for just holding Hyungwon's hand.

-

The next morning comes too soon, and Jooheon smiles sadly at Kihyun over breakfast.

"He's going back home to recover. His mom doesn't want anyone else to go. I'm sorry, Kihyun."

Kihyun feels his heart break because no, it isn't supposed to be like this. He's supposed to help Hyungwon recover. He's not supposed to leave.

Kihyun doesn't even get to kiss him goodbye.

He decides to move into Jooheon's bed while Hyungwon is gone. (And occationally Minhyuk joins them in the small twin bed.)

-

When he sees Hyungwon again, it's really when he least expects it. He's half-asleep, dangling from Hyunwoo's back (because he didn't want to walk upstairs so he half heartedly begged for a piggy back ride). His head is on Hyunwoo's shoulder. He's exhausted. It's long past his bedtime, so he really just wants to sleep. The house is mostly dark besides the TV on where Kihyun was watching a cooking show.

The front door opens, and slowly Kihyun's eyes open. Hyungwon stands there. His skin is back to it's normal color. His lips are pink, and he's smiling fondly at Kihyun. He's Hyungwon again.

It has been two months, and Kihyun wants to cry.

"Bedtime?" Hyungwon teases, approaching the pair.

Kihyun struggles, but he manages to detach himself from Hyunwoo and attach himself to Hyungwon, there chests pressed together. He's warm.  _He's healthy._

Hyungwon carries him to their room and sets him on the bed. He sits next to him. "I missed you."

Kihyun crawls into Hyungwon's lap, straddling him. He presses his forehead against his chest. "I'm tired. I love you." He mumbles sleepily.

"We can talk in the morning baby boy. Tomorrow, we can do whatever you want, okay? I just have a quick meeting, and it's just in the kitchen." Hyungwon shuffles to lie down. Kihyun doesn't roll off of him.

Kihyun  _loves_ him.

-

It's his home. And he decides he likes it this way. Hyungwon's lap is his home and always will be. He likes not paying attention to what the meeting is actually about and instead playing with Hyungwon's hands or clothes. He likes silently begging for attention, because  _yes, he is an attention whore when it comes to Hyungwon._

Vernon sits across from them. He's signing some paper, Kihyun isn't really sure. He's more interested in trying to shove Hyungwon's fingers in his mouth because the other refuses to kiss him. He's needy, he's always been needy, but he's Hyungwon's and no one else's.

He has three of the other male's fingers in his mouth, and he smiles when Hyungwon makes a noise of disgust and pulls his had back. He wipes his hand off on Kihyun's pants.

"Hush," Hyungwon kisses behind Kihyun's ear since Kihyun's back is against his chest.

Kihyun feels loved. He sits quietly as he was told and hopes Hyungwon will reward him later. They still need to go on that date he promised. Vernon passes the paper back to Hyungwon. Kihyun holds in a whine when Hyungwon pats his thigh, asking for him to stand up. He obeys, opting to stand behind him and wrap his arms around the other's neck.

Hyungwon leans forward and signs the document. They both get copies, and without a word Vernon leaves.

Kihyun crawls back into Hyungwon's lap. "What was that about?"

"I'm giving away the gang to Vernon. If you don't want to stay with me and rather stay with the group, I understand. I just want to live closer to my mom. I want to use my teaching degree I've gotten so long ago. You're 18, you're still young. Don't let me bring you down."

Kihyun shakes his head. "Can I come with you?"

"What are you going to do?"

Kihyun shrugs. "I can get a job, or just be a lazy housewife."

"Housewife..." Hyungwon slowly repeats. "I like it. I have all kinds of money saved up from selling drugs, so it's not really a big deal if you'd want to go back to college."

The younger quickly kisses him. "No! Housewife, I like it a lot. I'll still be your baby boy?"

"Of course."

-

Kihyun throws down the last box with a sigh. He slumps on the new couch and rubs his eyes. He's beyond exhausted. He really just wants to curl up against Hyungwon.

_But he is at work and making me move everything into our house._

He hates not seeing Hyungwon all day. He seems happy to be a high school history teacher, but Kihyun just wants to curl up to his side. Either way, he has a lot to do. There's so much to unpack and then he has to have dinner done by 5 when Hyungwon's stupid teacher meeting is over.

He groans. He's complaining, but he's got so much to do. He pulls himself off the couch and begins to unpack.

(At 5, Hyungwon comes home to see Kihyun asleep on the couch. He's wearing Hyungwon's hoodie, and he's snorning softly. He orders take out and they eat at  _their_ table for the first time, even if Kihyun complains that he should've woken up and made food for their first meal together.)

-

It doesn't really matter where they go. When they go back to Seoul to visit the boys, or travel somewhere just because. Kihyun never feels homesick. He just slides next to Hyungwon at the end of the night, and he knows he's home.

And when they find an abandoned baby in a hotel room, Kihyun promises that he'll make the baby know that Hyungwon and Kihyun are his home, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Now that I'm done, I can FINALLY get on with You're My Star. I swear I'll update it by the end of the month lol  
> If you want to attack me and say this is ooc, then just don't read it, t h a n k s


End file.
